It’s the way I start each bedtime prayer. Sometimes it’s the way I end it. Other times it’s my prayer in its entirety.
Have you ever had times in your life when you want to pray; you know you should, but you just can’t? No words are there. You’re just numb. You’re empty. Life becomes too big and we become too small.
It has happened all too frequently for me. There was a long stretch when nothing came. Nothing! It’s a lonely time. I always believed God was there. I even believed He was listening. I hated myself when I thought I was keeping Him waiting. But I couldn’t manufacture something from nothing.
When I’d enter a slightly better frame of mind, I’d remember the verse in the Book of Romans:
”In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words;” Romans 8:26
I had the “groanings” part down. I could only hope the Spirit was translating. But actually, truthfully, I knew God knew my heart. He knew my thoughts. And I knew He knew best. That has always been such a comfort. He knows better than I do what is good and what is best for me, my loved ones, and you! I know His plans are not to harm us. Ever!
I’m thankful He doesn’t wait on me to do what He does. But I’m so very thankful He’s ready to listen when I’m ready to talk. And I’m really thankful that once in a while I learn to listen to Him when I’m in my silent mode. Then He might plant a Bible verse in my mind or a song at church to prompt me.
It’s the lack of understanding the reasoning, lack of seeing the big picture and lack of patience on my part. But it’s not lack of faith. I know God loves me! When this reality hit me, I clung to it and began to thank God every day for that fact.
So when I pray, I always remember to say, “Thank You for loving me.” And sometimes it’s enough.
Silly me. I used to think I was the only one who had drought times of prayer. Until this morning at church. We sang a song which I’ve sung before but for some reason it resonated in my heart today. It’s right on! And obviously I’m not alone.